Facebook’s Free Launch

Zuckerberg : “Okay, here’s the plan.”

Facebook : “This is a plan?”

Zuckerberg : “We started with profiles, now we are going to expand.”

Facebook : “Now, you’re talkin’.”

Zuckerberg : “We are gonna create ‘Groups’.”

Facebook : “What’s a ‘Group’?”

Zuckerberg : “It’s a profile called a ‘Group’.”

Facebook : “I see.”

Zuckerberg : “We are gonna create ‘Pages’.”

Facebook : “What are ‘pages’.”

Zuckerberg : “It’s a profile called a ‘Page’.”

Facebook : “I see.”

Zuckerberg : “We are gonna create ‘Notes’.”

Facebook : “A Profile called a ‘Note’.”

Zuckerberg : “You’re catchin’ on.”

Facebook : “How about ‘Causes’?”

Zuckerberg : “A Profile called a ‘Cause’?”

Facebook : “You got it.”

Zuckerberg : “Then we impose ‘Limits’.”

Facebook : “Limits?”

Zuckerberg : “We tell customers our service is ‘Free’ but we sell their freedom as a hidden cost.  We tell customers our service is ‘Private” but we sell their privacies as a hidden cost.  We tell customers our service is ‘Open’ but we sell their openess as a hidden cost.  We tell our customers our service is good but we sell their goods as a hidden cost.  We tell them all our services are unique but we sell their uniqueness as a hidden cost.”

Zuckerberg : “We know the Internet is safe, but we sell them it is dangerous.  We know the Internet is round, but we sell them it is flat and they can fall off the edge.  We know I am a powerless idiot, but we sell them I an Emperor Genius.  Sell.  Sell.  Sell.”

Facebook : “Sounds like an expensive lunch.”

Zuckerberg : “Sounds like a free launch.”

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The Shelters Are Run By Bumholes

The shelters are run by bumholes

Whatcha gonna do?

The shelters are run by bumholes

But they can count on you

Pass around the collection plate

Give all you can afford

The shelters are run by bumholes

Bumholes need bum support