Hinduism: Bhagavad Gita


I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.

Don’t interrupt my dance.

Atheism: Stalin’s Prayer


Thanks for coming.

Look at all our megalithic stuff.

If you don’t want to be here you can starve.

Remember how many Ukrainians we exterminated.

Remember how many Cambodians we exterminated.

Visit friendly Myanmar.

Visit friendly North Korea.

We are intellectuals.

Islamism: Muslim Prayer


You’re great up there

I memorized the book

Thanks for listening

I’m nice to the guy on the right

I’m nice to the guy on the left

The book says convert the rest or kill the rest

that’s it

Judaism: Passover Prayer

By Choice


Thanks for freedom.

(We got away with the genocides that established ancient Israel)

Don’t wreck our crops.

Don’t hurt us.

Don’t hurt us.

Don’t hurt us.

That’s it.

Christianity: Lord’s Prayer

The Words of Self-Chosen Sheep Herder Grant Czerepak


whoever’s up there

when you get here

clean up our mess

keep the food coming

let me keep Joe’s stuff

let Joe keep my stuff

don’t turn us into psychopaths, again

that’s it

Buddhism: The Four Reminders

The Words of Self-Enlightened Buddhist Master Grant “Kim Tzu” Czerepak


1. The universe is constantly trying to kill you.

2. You could be dead.

3.  You will be dead.

4. Don’t dwell on it.